# Acceptance

{% embed url="https://youtu.be/3lj6XRYC_NI" %}

|                                      |                      |
| ------------------------------------ | -------------------- |
| **WHO**                              | Group                |
| **WHERE**                            | Group-room           |
| <p><strong>MATERIAL</strong><br></p> | Pen, paper, computer |
| **FACILITATOR**                      | Host                 |

**Intention:**\
\
The intention of this task is to become more aware of and work with the parts of ourselves that are difficult to accept, gaining a more realistic starting point for our practice of self-leadership.\
We aim to enter a process of acceptance of you as a human being with flaws, and to normalize this and become aware of the situation as it actually is.&#x20;

**Desired Outcome:**

Accepting all parts of ourselves, others and the systems around us for what they are. So we can create spaces and cultures where we can be whole human beings. This to work with reality as it is and not how we wish it to be.

**Introduction:**

Acceptance is the process of acknowledging something difficult or unpleasant. It involves a process where you come to see a part of you as adequate, valid or good enough. Often people see acceptance as passive resignation, giving up, an act of stagnation. In this task, we view acceptance as something completely different. Acceptance requires an enormous amount of effort, acknowledging what is, especially if you won't like the current situation, and then from that point work to change the situation. Not accepting leads to inaction, as you don't see the situation clearly. You are simply not aware of what is. It does not really matter what the world should be like, that you should be this perfect human being, you will at some point have to acknowledge what is actually there, and then change what can be changed.

Being a leader is not the same as being perfect. Leaders are human beings, and all human beings are imperfect. Studies show that we rarely follow the perfect person, we follow whole people that manage to be vulnerable and open about their shortcomings. The idea of the perfect leader that is in control and completely rational is a nice story but rather seldom seen. If you are going to lead people, your shortcomings will be on constant display, and if you don't see or accept shadow-sides of your being, others won't either. In FL, we aim to help people become actual leaders, not heroes or made up unicorns. Accepting who you are, is the starting point for further development. As a leader, there is no time for you to run from yourself or your problems.



|       | <p><strong>HOW</strong><br></p>                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     |
| ----- | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
| **1** | <p>(30min) <br>Read through the list below, which ones of these points might affect you?<br>Focus on the 1-3 specific ones that you don't accept fully and reflect on how they impact your life.<br><br>Do you accept the part of you that is / that have?: <br>-Angry.<br>-Been treated unfairly in the past.<br>-Been wounded by others.<br>-Treated others unfairly in the past.<br>-Been critical and judgemental of others.<br>-Struggles with money.<br>-Been embarrassed.<br>-Made mistakes.<br>-Lazy, procrastinating.<br>-Afraid.<br>-Needy.<br>-Hypocritical.<br>-Dissatisfied with your physical appearance.<br>-Feels lost in life.<br>-Confused/uncertain.<br>-Career problems/problems at work/school.<br>-Relationship problems.<br>-Family problems.<br>-Addictions / Bad habits.<br>-Shy / lacks confidence.<br>-Lonely.<br>-Jealous /envious.<br>-Overeating.<br>-Idealogical and defensive about your ideas.<br>-Selfish / narcissistic.<br></p> |
| **2** | <p>(20min)Talk openly about your 1-3 points with your buddy. What would your life be like if you could completely accept these sides of yourself? How would that feel like? What can you do today to move a bit closer to that reality?<br><br></p>                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 |
| **3** | <p>(40min) <br>Share your progress and insights with your group.<br></p>                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            |
| **4** | <p>Optional (10min)<br>Group-reflection: How might you not fully accepting who you are, affect you as a leader? <br></p>                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            |

## Further Reading

{% embed url="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-079YIasck" %}

